Recent Findings

Hello dearly faithful readers!

After my last escapade, I found it difficult to focus on new and beneficial blog posts. Perhaps I am not the Writer I thought I was.

In fact, I have been very busy of late. There seems to be a new and as yet undocumented species of algae growing in my bowl. I’ve been studying it unceasingly and making notes. I am very hopeful that this opportunity will result in my rise to fame at long last! Be on the lookout for me in Progressive Science Magazine. I’ll have them take a picture so you all will recognize me.

If I discover anything new about this species of algae (which I have lovingly named Alga Twilighta), I will be sure to let you know!

A Thrilling Adventure

I’ve heard it said that complaining will never get you anywhere. On the contrary, I find it has been a very effective tool in getting more followers, as well as more comments, on my blog. To all you who responded to my whiny post – many thanks!

Something of great interest happened yesterday morning, which I am sure you will not object to hearing. I was swimming around my bowl, deliberating and contemplating, especially in regards to my untidy home. I was considering that I have too many possesions for such a small area, and that it might be wise to take into account my future comfort and get rid of some of it. I was speculating about how I would go about such an exertion, when I happened to glance out the window.

I saw the most dreadful face in the window – looking at me! It was furry, and white, and sort of flat, with two pointy ears. Terrified as I was, I did not loose my head but ran and got my encyclopedia. Ah, that dear old encyclopedia! It was my grandmother’s, and though it greatly increases my clutter, I would not get rid of it for worlds.

As I paged through the encyclopedia, I kept one eye on the face in the window – having two rather large eyeballs placed at the sides of your head enables you to do this with very little effort. I found the creature at last. I had heard of this beast many times, although I had never seen one. The Fam is too considerate of my delicate nerves to keep one around. It was, in truth, a Cat. May I never see anything so hideous again – those horrifying green eyes, watching me hungrily.

The window was closed – for that I am most grateful, otherwise I would not be here telling you this interesting story. It is interesting, isn’t it? The Cat sat and watched me for about half an hour. Meanwhile, I swam round my bowl and made faces at it, and said some rather obnoxious things to it which I would rather not repeat here where the Fam could see it.

In the end, the Cat jumped down and ran away (probably to go cry to its mama), leaving me with a thorough contempt for any of the feline species.

Unfortunately for my reputation as a photographer, in all the uproar and excitement of fright I did not take one single picture of the Cat. Not one. I do hope the taker of the following photograph will oblige me with its use in pointing out the silly expression found on the faces of most of the species, and that the readers of this blog will excuse any obnoxiousities I may have bequeathed on the animal, as I am sure they will when they see the picture, which really looks remarkably similar to the Cat I saw yesterday.

What's The Use

My weekend fling is over and done with, and all week long I have been the model of propriety. And what has it gotten me? Nothing. Not even a comment on my blog.

I End My Insurgence

Wow! What a weekend! I had the best time ever! I didn’t talk on the phone with all my friends, though, like I was hoping to. I don’t have very many friends, and the ones I do have don’t talk on the phone.

I drove the car (hopefully they’ll never notice the dent in the fender). I played outside and got sunburned, which was an invigorating experience, especially trying to put sun block on. It made my water all cloudy and then I had to go change it. I ate junk food – got sick. I took the bus and went to the mall, where I was unable to buy anything because I didn’t have any money and I was high enough to reach the counters. There was this really awesome pair of sunglasses I wanted, too! Disappointing. While at the mall, I met a new fish. He was in a store, and his bowl was smaller than mine. That fish had to be neurotic. He didn’t pay any attention to me, he just swam around and around and around and around. I think it was the stuff they were feeding him. No flakes most likely, and never any shrimp.

I tried the birthday party. But none of my friends could come, so I had to do it by myself. Hence the junk food blowout, and hence the getting sick. I played pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, which was a blast. I’ve never done that before. I won.

I baked cookies – hence the birthday party, hence the junk food, and hence the getting sick. They were chocolate. Talk about delicious! I bet Emily will want me to do all the cookie baking from now on – I had no idea I was so talented!

I couldn’t read any comic books. I would have had to buy them, and I didn’t have any money and I couldn’t reach the counters anyway.

All in all, it was a most edifying and remarkable weekend. Now that I’ve tried all the things I’ve always wanted to do, I can settle back down and be mature.

Day Two Without the Fam

After the Fam left yesterday, I felt free to enjoy myself. The first thing I did was move my bowl to the living room. Next to the phone. I have an idea I’ll be needing to use it quite a bit this weekend.

I then took a tour of the Fam’s new kitchen, which they unobligingly never even bothered to show me. I really like the new blue tiles, it looks very ocean-y. If the Fam ever troubles themselves to ask me my opinion, I shall tell them I approve.

As it was getting late, and I was hungry, I decided to order the pizza. This turned into a disaster, which I will relate. First of all, the guy at the delivery place couldn’t understand me because I was in the water and he was not. I tried to make it work by pulling the phone into the bowl with me, but, well, after that the phone didn’t work at all. It never will again, either. So I had to move to another phone, which took a lot of time. But I got the pizza guy again, and this time I had to talk outside of my bowl. Which was difficult because every time I ran out of breath I had to dive back in for a little bit, and then the guy on the other end would get confused and I would have to start all over.

I did get it taken care of eventually, and the pizza came about half an hour later. Unfortunately I hadn’t counted on not being able to reach the door knob, and then not being able to open it when I could reach it. The delivery guy had to set it on the door step and leave, and by the time I had opened a window and gotten out, some neighbor had come by and helped himself to my pizza! I mention no names.

I was frustrated at this point, and decided to forget the pizza and try to find where Emily keeps my shrimps. I found them. They’re in the refrigerator. It’s cold in there. I guess I would rather not remember that particular experience, if that’s all right with you.

Well, next on my list was “Watch movies all night”, and I just sat down and did that. I watched Anne of Green Gables. All three of them. The whole shebang. It was very exciting, because I am never allowed to watch movies otherwise. I can’t say I enjoyed the movies; they were somewhat girly. But I enjoyed basking in the knowledge that I was doing something off-limits. What fun!

In case my readers are disappointed in my lack of obedience and training, you must remember that my mother never trained me and taught me right from wrong. And my owners, bless their hearts, never thought they needed to teach me. So it is not my fault at all. I remain unrepentant, and plan on going to the mall today.

Day One Without the Fam

I woke up this morning feeling depressed and melancholy. The entire crew left for a homeschool convention – I thought I should have been invited, after all, I was schooled at home, too! But maybe they were afraid my bowl would slosh all over their van if they took me.

Anyway, I was feeling pathetic and sorry for myself when I woke up. No flakes or shrimps this morning – no NOTHING in fact. Of course, I knew I wouldn’t starve to death, but it is rather an uncomfortable feeling knowing that you usually have a lovely full tummy at this time of day and you won’t have that feeling again for such a long time! I tried to satisfy myself with some of the green fuzzy stuff that floats around my place, which was gross, but better than nothing.

After I had moped for a few hours, I made up my mind to make the best of my weekend alone! I wrote out a list of things I plan to do:

1. Talk on the phone for hours
2. Drive the car
3. Play outside
4. Eat junk food
5. Go to the mall
6. Meet a new fish
7. Have a birthday party
8. Watch movies all night
9. Bake cookies
10. Read comic books

I’m sure I’ll come up with lots more ideas, but for now I am so excited! This is going to be great! I plan on spending all day today simply writing out my lists, getting things in order, and then getting a good night’s sleep so I’ll be ready for tomorrow. I think I’ll order out pizza tonight.

I am Sad!!!!!!!

Why? because my owners are leaving on Thursday for the whole weekend. And I have no one to feed me! :'(

Also I need some money, for a new filter and such. But I can't earn any money 'cause I'm a FISH!!!!!!!!!

That is why I'm Sad. *Sniff*